Best Police Twitter Update

Dear Police, No. Sincerely, Criminals.

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#fail Same Shit Different Day

Same Shit Different Day

#food After I Take The Pizza Outta The Oven

After I Take The Pizza Outta The Oven

#lol Looking For Something You Lost

Looking For Something You Lost

#food Every Pizza Is Personal

Every Pizza Is Personal

#animals Stop Taking My Picture

Stop Taking My Picture

#lol I’m Not Going Out

I’m Not Going Out

#lol Getting Out Of A Speeding Ticket

Getting Out Of A Speeding Ticket

#lol Microwaving At Midnight

Microwaving At Midnight

#lol Can I Use Your Phone

Can I Use Your Phone

#dumb Does The Universe Hate You

Does The Universe Hate You

#lol It’s Called Romance

It’s Called Romance

#animals Let Me Tell You A Story

Let Me Tell You A Story

#lol Who Makes The Sandwiches

Who Makes The Sandwiches

#lol When A Girls Favorite Song Comes On

When A Girls Favorite Song Comes On

#food That One Parent Who Buys The Good Snacks

That One Parent Who Buys The Good Snacks

#lol One Republic Without Autotune

One Republic Without Autotune

#dumb The Best Mike Tyson Photo Ever

The Best Mike Tyson Photo Ever

#animals Someone With Bad Breath

Someone With Bad Breath